Final Fantasy Crisis Core : First Impressions

Its a game for the raging FF7 fanboys , thats for sure.

The opening sequence is basically a remixed version of the original opening for Final Fantasy 7 , right down to the music playing. The only difference now of course is that everything looks amazing , CG videos crop up every 5 minutes with visuals so impressive you occasionally forget you're playing a portable game.

And then you get down to the game itself , i believe its a substory to FF7 , however ill be honest. I havent a fucking clue , i finished the original game when i was like 10 (aka. a long damn time ago.) and as such i cant remember shit all about the plotline of FF7 other than Aeris died and that i was really happy i decided not to level her.

The combat system in Crisis Core is certainly an odd one , Think final fantasy 12 combat system with enemies which appear in front of you in MMO style , then strip out your automated teammates and then control your main character yourself. You move the character around using the analogue and then action using X , dodge using Square and Defend using Triangle - 'Action' is selected by using L and R and ranges from 'Attack' to 'Thunderga' to 'Potion'. So to recap - its FF12 on your jays (on your own) with a slightly fiddly dynasty warrioresque 'mash X to kill shit' style with Devil May Cry style 'GTFO roll' by mashing square when the enemies swing at you.


From this picture we can see , HP , MP , AP at the bottom left , XP on the bottom left (which has been moved to the top left in the version i have) , at the top left , the slots system (read below) and at the bottom right the 'Actions' bar , currently selected is attack but by hitting R it'll cycle one place to the right where for example it might be Firaga, you then hit X and it'll use the spell instead of normal attack

It sounds confusing and probably a little bad , but let me tell you , its good , and its a welcome change from turn based boringness
Oh right , since this IS first impressions i still dont know whats going on , but Limit breaks and stuff seems to be done randomly , at the top left a slots wheel is constantly spinning , it'll give you random buffs and shit every now and then and occasionally , a limit break. *shrug*
The graphics and stuff in this game are amazing , easily on par with some PS2 games. The game also features alot of voice acting along with its cutscenes (and alot of cutscenes obviously) in true Final Fantasy Style.

As a final fantasy game , it looks to be pretty decent
As a final fantasy 7 sidestory game , it looks to be pretty confusing considering i don't remember the story anymore
As a PSP game im overjoyed and amazed. I think i know what will be on my PSP for the next few months.

As i said before though , this IS a first impression , as always my first impressions are subject to change and if i decide later on that the game is utter shit , you'll be reading about it soon enough.

FF7CC Preview Score : 8.5 / 10 dondochakas
(yes , ill be scoring shit from now on so that those of you who can't appreciate good old fashioned text reviews can just skip down to the bottom and choke on a dick)

Other info : Approx 1gb to download , 1.7GB ISO , 1.1GB CSO @ lvl 9

RIP 'S.M.A.R.T guy'

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91248-1312764,00.html?f=rss

Mark Speight from the kids program 'S.M.A.R.T' which was some sort of art show iirc - has commited suicide apparently.
Longstory short , his fiancee died due to drug abuse and as such he went missing for a few days and was later found hung near a train station.

And so , we salute you smartguy , for being an hero in our childhood days.

11 Things you can do with a KOC Beatmania Controller

11 Things you can do with a KOC Beatmania Controller



1. Pretend you look cool
2. Doorstop
3. Hit Leetfella and Boyce across the face
4. Make a surfboard
5. Profit (make it make money)
6. Get destroyed by import tax (EH Hawk?!?!)
7. Pretend its a super hi-tech gun
8. Melbourne Shuffle
9. Olympic hammer throw
10. Paddle your way out of shit creek
11. Sex Toy.

Karkand Syndrome : now officially a term.

 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=karkand+syndrome

Meng can be a gangsta too!

Ace Attorney : Miles Edgeworth

http://www.siliconera.com/2008/04/09/move-miles-edgeworth-in-phoenix-wright-spinoff/

intresting.

Im pretty sure everyone who has ever played phoenix wright has at some point given in and admitted that edgeworth is probably the better of the two rivals (the other being wright ofc)
Well , looks like they finally realised that everyone prefers edgey and as such are bringing out a game based on him. yay!

'Flow' for the PSP

Usually , games with no objective fail horribly.
The exception to this would probably be Gmod and a few other games which I cant really think of right now.

So here comes Flow , weighing in at approximately 90mb.
The games objective : None
The games storyline : None
The games anything : None

The game throws you in with its tagline of 'go with the flow'
No instructions , no nothing.
You play as a weird Pacman-esque style amoeba thing and float around what i can only assume is some sort of pond.
The aim of the game which i decided myself is to eat everything else in the pond , very similar to feeding frenzy or one of those sort of popcap games that you can get for 5 bucks in some crack alleys of the interwebs. Your pacman thing grows slightly the more things you ingest until.. well. i don't fucking know. it bored the shit out of me 3 minutes in. Imagine playing pacman without ghosts - and you're playing Flow.

In the games defence im sure it (probably) gets more intresting the further on you go , but i have not the time nor the patience to get that far. Games are supposed to be fun and feel rewarding , not an everlasting journey into 'is this game gonna get fun yet?'

Driving Theory Test Done

Had my Driving Theory Test today , the test consists of two parts , the first is multiple choice and has 50 questions (1 hour) and the second half is identifying hazards in a video.

My score was 49/50 and the only question i got wrong was:
"A little girl has been in a car accident , she needs mouth to mouth , when giving mouth to mouth you should do so:
[ ] A. Gently
[X] B. Heavily
[ ] C. Quickly
[ ] D. Bukkake"
(i couldnt remember the last option)
But anyway , i chose heavily because it made sense , but it was wrong :<
Fuck knows why i was even being tested on Mouth to mouth resuscitation in a driving Theory test.

The Second part of the test i got 54/75 , with the pass being 44.
Not bad i guess.
Now to book my practical Test D:

I wish i could dance sometimes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rRzWwIJW45g

amazin.

South Park - Canada's on Strike (aka. the internet meme episode)

For those of you lucky enough to be in America and have not seen it , you can do so here : http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/165203

Theres been a lot of discussion over this episode , some people liked it , some people didn't.
Personally , i was one of those who didn't. The Entire episode  overall was pretty boring and shitty - the plot was weaker than the Guitar Queer-o episode of south park, which says alot.
The actual internet memes section of the episode lasts somewhere in the region of 1 to 2 minutes of a 25 minute episode and to be frank , ive never even heard of half of the 'memes'.
Those featured were 'numa numa guy' , 'star wars kid' , 'chocolate rain guy' , 'tron guy' (who?) , 'Sneezing panda' (whoo???) , Afro ninja (at least ive heard of this one) , and 'Dramatic Stare gopher' (whom is currently doing rather well on youtube).

By reading the previous paragraph you've actually spoiled any reason for you to watch the episode itself. Lucky you.

Also. the south park stuidos website hates foreigners.

Janet Street Check your Blind Spot

Firstly , i have my Driving Theory Exam on Tuesday , as such i was reading through the highway code again.
I came across this picture

which is pretty amazing. The expression on the face is great and she kinda reminds me of that celebrity Janet Street Porter , to the extent where i think the artist may have at the time refferencing to a picture of Miss porter having forgotten what real women look like.

Also , I've uploaded the full episodes of Dexter's a Cookie (the Parrot Trap) and That one with Yhanni the yanitor (Trapped with a vengeance) , you can get to both of them by following through my youtube profile linked on the right.
Of course i presume you're all subscribed to me anyway because you're not faggots. Right?

Little Little Princess

9 months of on and off playing (mostly off) and i finally managed to beat the bastard song 'Little Little Princess' which ive been trying to do for so long.

I set up the camera on the off chance id get lucky and actually beat the song , because then id be able to have it immortalized in video for myself.

And then... i did it :O

http://www.vimeo.com/859033

I got a D , but not failing the song is a huge achievement in itself for me.

ps. You thought my dualshock controller was loud?

Bonus Feature:
Bit of a video dump for you guys.
DOOR STUCK!!! DOOOOOR STUUUUCCKKK!!!

5 Minutes of Ronald McDonald Rave

Ronald McDonald + Fascination MAXX (ddr)

Crank Dat Curry Sauce

watch me crank dat curry sauce then rehydrate my soul WIT MANGO JUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/972672/crank_dat_curry_sauce/

Books / Dream again

So i don't read many books. Why? Because they just don't grip me. I find them slow and usually boring.
The only book ive ever read without being forced is Angels and Demons by Dan Brown , which was pretty good i suppose.

I was browsing mininova today and came across the book section. . .
Below is a screenshot of the amazingness i saw.


I tell you now , if waterstones or WHsmiths sold this sort of thing id probably read lots of books because all of the books would be amazing.

A negative Calorie diet? wow , how does that even work? my guess is that the book goes into extreme details of how to thrust your forefinger and middle finger down your throat to induce Xtreme projectile vomiting

Origami Mega pack pretty much speaks for itself.

Ultimate Mind Control is always useful , i mean , its not even standard mind control , its ULTIMATE mind control. I expect this to be on the level that Homo wan kenobu uses.

The Secret sounds cool , although its probably a flipbook of never gonna give you up. - which is still pretty fucking cool.

Hypnotise your lover - Im downloading this now , will feed back when i get it. Im confused as to whether it refers to ones you love or people who actually love you back. I certainly hope its the former.

Full hypnosis course is pretty useful no matter what way you look at it.

And of course everyone needs the complete steroid handbook. You wouldnt want to be taking the wrong steroids now would you?

Filler blog? Yeah, i suppose so.

On a side note i had a really beast dream last night , i cant remember the specifics but i do remember meeting Kylie Minogue somewhere and then going to her house (i think.) , she then was doing a... nude photo shoot. *shrug*
I also remember later in that dream i was getting chased by police after an MTV stunt i was part of went wrong , one minute there was loads of dancing singing black people and then POLICE. I ran for my life , scrambled up a dirt hill clutching onto weeds and small shrubs. I then fought off a Ninja lady dressed in blue or red , i cant remember. My head is foggy after that , i think i won though.

There really needs to be some sort of machine invented to record your dreams so you can watch them back in your own time.

Battlefield 2

So i was pondering writing about the april fools stuff, but i cant really be fucked. If you missed it , you missed it. its g0ne.
I do believe VGcats had a collection of some groovy stuff from april fools though.

On to the subject at hand.

Battlefield 2 , ive played it around 5-6 hours and i hate it to bits already.

My qualms with the game :

- Air vehicles dominate everything , followed by tanks and APC's

- The sprinting is fucking pathetic , even the classes with supposedly longer sprinting distance only changes the sprinting from 'Absolutely useless' to 'Shit'

- Instant Knife kills (not even backstab) , My character can take 3 rifle bullets but being poked in the arm with a knife kills me in one hit? :/

- All of the weapons have shit accuracy , whilst this may be more realistic it generally makes the game more shit.

- The only way to not have shit accuracy is to go prone. What this basically results in is everyone sprinting around and as soon as they see you they go prone and start shooting - no strafe battles , nada . Just a race to see who can hit Z first and aim onto the other player.

- Rocket launcher is useless. nuff said. - It does about 1/4-1/3 damage to a tank/APC and is stupidly hard to kill infantary with because it has the splash damage range of a piece of cheese.

- No widescreen support. Honestly. wtf.

- Stupid levels of fog on some of the maps , infact , all of the maps. Would it be so hard to let us have unlimited draw distance?

- Too many servers with Strike at karkand on.

- Lack of ingame friends list/clan/anything

All in all , not sure how long i'll end up playing this one for. The combat itself doesent seem very fun but the larger maps are kinda cool i guess. Playing this only makes me wish Enemy Territory: Quake wars had larger maps because the fighting in that is vastly superior imho.

http://battlefield.ea.com/battlefield/bf2/playerstats.aspx?profileid=75242084