My workplace is more retarded than your workplace. (pure blog shiz.)

So apparently everyone in my workplace has never seen an actual good looking guy , because they all seem pretty convinced its me. Anyone who has seen me will verify that i am not a good looking guy on any level , infact i barely qualify as average imho.

Conversation with some girl in my workplace
girl *comes out of kitchen waving over her mouth*
Me *gives her a weird look*
girl : I just ate a splingdoll
Me : a wha?
girl : a splingdoll
Me : ...
girl *takes out a notepad and scribbles down 'Spring Roll'* (rather legibly i might add , her handwriting is better than mine dispite the fact she can barely speak english
Me : Ohhhh. A SPRING ROLL
girl : yes , splingdoll.
Me : ... no no, spring roll
girl : spring lole
Me : ROLL
girl : LOLE.
Me : ROLL
girl : LOLE (repeat 3 times.)
girl : am i say it right now? spring lole?
Me : yeah. sure.
girl : Kiss me. *leans forward*

Now excuuuuuuse me. WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?!?!?!?!

Me (out of pure instinct and no thought whatsoever) : no. *smile*
girl *scampers off giggling*

Later after work , im approached by her and her posse. they sit me down at a table and sit around me (Meng + 6 girls at a table)
then they start going off doing their moonspeak and the girl from earlier turns round , leans forward and asks 'When was first girlfriend?'
soon followed by other such dodgy fucked up questions as 'how many girlfriend you had before?' and 'when first kiss?' - Naturally as a guy , i try to escape. However i cant , as soon as i try to stand up the tall one (who has strategically positioned herself behind me) Pushes my shoulders down so im back on the chair , the girl asking the questions then grabs my arm and shakes it. I have somehow been teleported from a restaurant to an interogation center in <insert your favorite warzone here>.