A Work Update

I hate my workplace.

I walk in to work today (yesterday by the time this gets posted) and am instantly greeted by my manager who has been on holiday for the past 3 weeks.
The first thing he says after 'hi' ?
not 'long time no see!' or , 'i'm back!' or some other typical bullshit , he goes straight in and...
"have you wanking today?"
"errr...."
"It is okay , it is good for you" (bare in mind this asshole is SHAKING MY HAND whilst talking)

Fucking seriously , this guy clearly gets off on making people feel incredibly awkward.
[i just leaned right there whilst typing , ow my abs.]

Shortly after this initial talk , i told him im quitting.
So next week will be my last week of work there , thank god.

From here on i walk in and the FIRST PERSON i come across after my assholemanager says 'hi' and then drops the bomb on me by saying 'you look like you've gained weight.'
What a great start to my day at work.

Later on in the work day and i get my 2nd blog post inspiration.
An Indian guy... that talks like Niko from GTA4.
Oh yes.
As it were , turns out he's a stupid Indian that sounds like Niko from GTA4.
After eating he turns to me and says (in an almost TF2 heavy style voice)

"YOU ARE GOOD COOK."
He then turns to his wife and quietly mutters
"he is good cook."
I stand there and smile at him , safe in the knowledge that i'm far superior to them both.

Another thing ive noticed at work is that the chefs in the kitchen upstairs will listen to ANYTHING.
I walk past the kitchen every now and then and i've heard Chinese love songs , Japanese Music , British Chart music , RnB , Chinese RnB , Dance , Hardcore , Drum and Bass , Trance.....
I actually think i heard 'The logical Song' by 'Scooter' being played in there once.
The best thing about this is that because i never actually get to go in , I get to imagine them all dancing around with their woks and pots and pans getting crunk and so on.

Final thing ,  during work today i walked into the washing area of the restaurant (where all the dirty plates and shit go) and theres a fucking waitress there cutting her nails.
Little nailclipper on the end of her keyring.
DO YOU REALLY NEED TO DO THAT SHIT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?!?!?

god i hate my workplace.