Guitar Queer-o

So i recently bought 'obtained' guitar hero 3 for PC, I don't have a guitar of any sort but i thought id give it a go anyway for a laugh.
The game's default control system for PC is (for the frets)Shift , | , Z , X ,C ,V and for the strum bar - Mouse 1 , mouse 2 , scroll wheel. Spacebar is star power and i think alt is whammy. Pretty F'd up controls.
So i went into the controls and edited them to the frets on fire style - being the F1-F5 keys for the frets and enter for strumming , enter wouldnt work as the game has that prebound to advancing menus and stuff , so i put it onto insert, starpower on print screen and home as whammy.
By doing this i can play with the guitar upside down. However... a problem soon unfolded before me.
My keyboard Refuses to do F2 + F3 + another button , that being when a chord comes along which is F2 + F3 the keyboard wont respond to my 'strumming' which ends up in misses and on some songs - failure.
Okay then. im a genius guy , i can work this out... So i thought.
I pulled out my USB laptop mouse and plugged it in (its pretty small). I changed the controls to mouse 1 for strumming , now to play i use my left hand for frets and my right hand holding the USB mouse against the keyboard (mouse2 is for starpower incase you're wondering - and mouse movement is whammy, which actually works kinda well). This is all well and good , i can hit those F2+F3 notes now because the mouse is a seperate input from the keyboard. I can actually play now.
Unfortunately when i tried playing Expert mode earlier GH is trying to be a pioneer and introduce 3 fret chords , primarily consisting of F1+F2+F3 it would seem , which my keyboard again won't support. Great. I guess ill steal that 90's guy's geetar at some point, he should be playing beatmania instead of silly guitar games anyway.
Below is a picture of me playing Guitar Hero , it hasnt been edited at all


offtopic : Changed my wallpaper background today , its the Elite Beat Diva's from Elite beat Agents on DS!
http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/2742/0712bz0.jpg